I wish to apologize to those of you who have followed my blog for the past few months. I meant to post for a very long time now but something inside of me felt tied up and compressed. Lack of inspiration? Maybe. All writers at some point have experienced the emptiness of thoughts. Sometimes it is not the lack of thoughts that prevent me from producing a text, instead, I find my self unable to set myself to the task. Anyhow, I have decided to post this poem written a year ago for the 10th anniversary of death of my beloved mother. It is listed in my co-written poetry book “Unveiled”. Today I chose to post it to commemorate the anniversary of birth of the woman who gave me up to that I had a better chance of becoming the person that I am today. She did the ultimate sacrifice in the name of love and for that I am eternally grateful. Without this choice who knows what I could turn out to be.
Maybe my mother is watching over me from a better place (I console myself in the thought) or maybe she is simply rotting in a nameless grave in Canape Vert, Port-au-Prince (Haiti). In any case a 30 year-old woman still grieves her departure, 12 years later.
This poem is an ode to her to tell her that she is not forgotten and will forever be missed by her daughter.
I was born an orphan, Mother, before Death took you upon its wings. I was born motherless, surrounded by the greatest and noblest of intents. Time was so cruel, leading us to believe that we had plenty of it, when instead ours was fleeting and dying before we could grasp over it.
An ode to my mother I write, to tell her that upon her nameless grave, beyond the Heavens I want to hold on to what’s left of so little of her. She is evaporating from my memory, like sweet haze after the Rush. Only the memories of promised days remain. Hundreds of what ifs and could haves.
Mother, your presence was always surreal, ether-like. You were always more an angel of good will than anything else. You have never been full-fleshed for long. Immaterial you remain, in my mind and in my heart, forever without a frame for your radiant smile.
A decade after your departure I still wonder and ponder upon your strength. You have given so much for so little in return. How I wish we had time. But time is human kind’s enemy. It never gives much to those who need it the most. Mother how we needed time. Time to become what we truly never were: mother and daughter.