posed photography of my mother probably taken in the late 70′s or early 80′s
I wish to apologize to those of you who have followed my blog for the past few months. I meant to post for a very long time now but something inside of me felt tied up and compressed. Lack of inspiration? Maybe. All writers at some point have experienced the emptiness of thoughts. Sometimes it is not the lack of thoughts that prevent me from producing a text, instead, I find my self unable to set myself to the task. Anyhow, I have decided to post this poem written a year ago for the 10th anniversary of death of my beloved mother. It is listed in my co-written poetry book “Unveiled”. Today I chose to post it to commemorate the anniversary of birth of the woman who gave me up to that I had a better chance of becoming the person that I am today. She did the ultimate sacrifice in the name of love and for that I am eternally grateful. Without this choice who knows what I could turn out to be.
Maybe my mother is watching over me from a better place (I console myself in the thought) or maybe she is simply rotting in a nameless grave in Canape Vert, Port-au-Prince (Haiti). In any case a 30 year-old woman still grieves her departure, 12 years later.
This poem is an ode to her to tell her that she is not forgotten and will forever be missed by her daughter.
I was born an orphan, Mother, before Death took you upon its wings. I was born motherless, surrounded by the greatest and noblest of intents. Time was so cruel, leading us to believe that we had plenty of it, when instead ours was fleeting and dying before we could grasp over it.
An ode to my mother I write, to tell her that upon her nameless grave, beyond the Heavens I want to hold on to what’s left of so little of her. She is evaporating from my memory, like sweet haze after the Rush. Only the memories of promised days remain. Hundreds of what ifs and could haves.
Mother, your presence was always surreal, ether-like. You were always more an angel of good will than anything else. You have never been full-fleshed for long. Immaterial you remain, in my mind and in my heart, forever without a frame for your radiant smile.
A decade after your departure I still wonder and ponder upon your strength. You have given so much for so little in return. How I wish we had time. But time is human kind’s enemy. It never gives much to those who need it the most. Mother how we needed time. Time to become what we truly never were: mother and daughter.
I am sorry for your loss. I do understand in that my mother passed summer 2012. It hurts so badly. Her photo is lovely. Be well my friend.
Thank you John. I really appreciate your kind words. No loss is good, but the loss of a mother is a terrible burden on the heart of a child. I am sadden by your recent loss. My thoughts are with you. Let us learn to always cherish the legacy of the strong women who have left us (always too early no matter the time).
I could swear I commented here before. Hmm, you deleted my comment. Kidding
Hey, your mom was very beautiful. She has that serious woman look and I just know she must have been an amazing person. Also, I definitely see her in you more every time I see that photo.
As I look at that photo, read your beautiful tribute here, and think, I feel sad in my heart. For you and your mom. Many hugs my friend
Catherine, your Mom was a beautiful woman, lovely photograph, and your poem tugged at my heart, feeling sad for what you both didn’t get to experience. But, your tribute was beautiful and I can also relate, as my Mom passed away a year ago. Although, we did have a good relationship, there were bumps, and when she became ill and then passed away, those bumps suddenly had no bearing. When we lose a loved one, it is just so surreal, so I send you comforting hugs, even though we’ve just met…
Take care,
Lauren
my condolences
for the loss of your mother
~
thanks for sharing